Hey guys, my name’s Itxy, and today we’re going to talking about how to deal with negative family members during the holidays.
I’m recording this because I know that during the holidays you’re going to encounter negative family members who like to bully you (just to put it bluntly), but overall this is good information for how to stand up for yourself in general.
So, lets get down to what it is you want to hear
The first thing you want to do is make sure that you’re being attacked in the first place.
For example, one time I was at school, and I had told many people that I wasn’t going to college, and that I was going to start my own blog.
I’d usually get a negative response. People would say, “Don’t call me when you end up in a box,” or “You’re not going to succeed,” or shit like that—just discouraging me. (Didn’t work, ha!)
So, one day my music teacher asked me what I was going to do after high school, and I said ”I’m not going to college. I’m starting a blog.”
And he said—well, I don’t remember what he said. But, he said something that wasn’t even attacking me at all, but because I was accustomed to getting negative responses that I automatically assumed he would.
So, when I replied to his comment, I said, “Oh, but I’m going to succeed,” in a very rude way, and he gave me a look that said Okay, calm down, I’m not doing anything.
And I felt really guilty afterward.
Just make sure that you’re even being attacked in the first place.
TIP #1. DON’T SHOW FEAR OR ANNOYANCE
What you want to do is sit up straight, with your shoulders back, and head high, and maintain eye contact because when you do this, you’re showing them that you’re not afraid of what they have to say next.
It’s going to be really hard to do that, but you have to force yourself to be able to remember that body language.
When you make eye contact, it’s like you’re daring them, and it’s like you’re telling them, “Look, I’m not afraid, so I bring it.”
TIP #2. MAKE THE OTHER PERSON NERVOUS
I guess it doesn’t sound that nice, but let me explain.
Straight up ask them, “Why are we talking about this? Why are you bringing this up again?”
When you’re asking them, give them that sly smile—the one that says, we’re really going to do this right now?
Remind yourself to remain calm because if you’re going to ask them this, then you don’t want your voice to come out sarcastically or rude because then it’s going to come off as you attacking them, but you just want to remain kind the whole time you’re speaking to them.
When you give them that sly smile, you’re telling them that you can deal with whatever they’re going to say, but can they deal with what you’re going to answer with?
TIP #3: FIND YOUR INNER GREATNESS
While they’re talking, have a mental list of all the things that you love about yourself and build up your confidence right then and there.
That way when you’re replying, you’re coming off as strong, but not in an attacking way, in a confident way.
Force yourself to reply. I’m not really sure how else to say it because it’s really either you do it or you don’t.
And like I said last week, sometimes you really do need to explain to them what it is you’re doing with your life or what you identify as or what your sexuality is, you know?
Whatever it is, try to explain because they really might not understand.
If you explain, and they still don’t understand, and they’re a lost cause just walk away. Just say you want some more dessert!
Now, I’m not going to tell you what things to say or responses you can give them because I did talk about that in the last video—How to Stand up for Yourself. If you want more information, check that one out!
Just remember that even though these people are your family members, they are not in control of you!
Ultimately, you’re in control of your life. Just develop your confidence, as I said.
But, that’s it for today. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe, thanks for watching!