There is one thing that most people truly believe and that is that they’re not good enough, that they are not worthy enough to be living. Self-love is something very simple; something that I wish wasn’t something that you had to relearn, but you do and it is one of the most powerful things ever.
Self-love is not something selfish. Loving yourself will allow you to embrace joy and compassion and it’ll permit you to get rid of feelings such as insecurity, self-hatred, guilt, and self-doubt. When you love yourself, you manage to not care about what other people think and be genuinely happy.
So, let’s get to the good stuff…
What actions can you take towards self-love?
1. APPRECIATE YOUR AWESOMENESS
First, think about who you are. Your likes, dislikes, personality traits, dreams and goals, the food you like, the music you listen to, what type of clothing you wear. I know for a fact that you have a lot of things in common with a lot of people, but just because you have things in common doesn’t mean that you are exactly the same as anybody else.
Which brings me to my question: why would you not admire and respect who you are?
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” – Kurt Cobain
You have a special place in the world because you are unique and you hold something that no one else has. You’re worth everything because you’re different from everyone else.
YOU’RE A HUGE FREAKING DEAL!!
There has never and there will never be anyone like you. Take that into consideration when you feel like you don’t have a purpose or when you’re not treasuring yourself like you should be doing.
2. COMPLIMENT YOURSELF
Think. If you paid someone to compliment you, what would you want to hear from them?
The process of learning Self-love is actually telling yourself what you need to hear. For example, “I gorgeous and I have a rockin’ body.” You need to do is find out what you’re most insecure about and say something (affirmations) that counteracts that.
For example, one aff that I need to hear the most is that I deserve happiness. It’s something I started to say about a year ago and something that I continue to tell myself every day. I remind myself of that fact I deserve happiness because I know that life isn’t meant to be extraordinarily difficult.
What can you do with affirmations?
- Write down affirmations in a journal and read them everyday
- Make a poster and write down all the positive things you need
- Make meaningful images or quotes your phone background as reminders
- Use sticky notes and put them where you know you’ll see them every single day
- Use reminders in your phone that say optimistic things
Doing this will rewire your brain and train it to know the truth: that you are special. Train it to rid of all the negative lies you tell yourself.
I know that these things make sound like a long shot or that they’re crazy and won’t work but, they do. I’m proof of that and people who are coaches of self-empowerment are proof of that. Successful people have made it to where they are because they focus only on their strengths, because they love and believe in themselves. Know that you can do it too.
3. TAKE NOTICE WHAT YOU NEED & REPLACE ANYTHING NEGATIVE
If you haven’t already noticed the most important step towards self-love is taking notice. How do you react when something bad happens? When someone pisses you off or hurts you? Think back, figure it out, and when it happens again in the future try to come up with a different response, a more positive one.
If you get angry a lot, when something happens to make you feel rage next time, take a breath and just walk away so that you don’t say something that you’ll regret later on.
When you see a post on any social media that says something like, “you are worth something.” What’s your first response? Do you automatically think that it’s not true? That it’s a lie? Next time you see something like that try to change your reaction.
I am not the brightest person –> I’ll succeed in life and I’m intelligent
I don’t have a purpose –> I matter. I have a worth that I’m supposed to share with the world.
I suck at everything –> I do well in all I try because I try my best. I am good at __(fill in)__.
I don’t deserve happiness –> I accept all the good that the world has to offer me.
Here’s the thing though, the things that you tell yourself may sound like a lie, but the reality is that you’re living the lie. All these affirmations that you’re telling yourself are the light that is guiding you to the truth. They’re taking you back to what you once knew.
4. DO THE SHIT THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Do the things that you’re passionate about, the things that make you so excited about the fact that you’re alive. Find out what things make you feel most alive.
If you love painting, but maybe you feel like you don’t have enough time for it, make time! Been wanting you go surfing or zip lining? Go do it! If it’s something you really enjoy, then it’s something you should be doing and making time for! Create great experiences that you’ll enjoy.
“Take care of yourself as if you’re the most awesome person you’ve ever met.” – Jen Sincero
5. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Comparing yourself to others is the biggest mistake you could ever make because for some reason even though we see all the flaws and the ugly stuff about ourselves, we succeed at seeing the perfection of others.
So instead of comparing yourself to someone else… don’t. If you get 85% on a test, but then you realize that the person next to you got a 90% and all of a sudden you feel like you’re not as smart as them or that you’re not that smart in general, know that you did an fantastic job! Don’t think about them, think about you and your success.
Embrace who you are and value your uniqueness because it’s what makes you magnificent. Thinking that someone else’s uniqueness is better than yours is insane. You’re more than enough and you always will be.
Remember that you’re fucking special. Don’t turn into someone you’re not.
6. ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS
Let people compliment you! When someone tells you that you look nice, don’t say that you’ve looked better or that you didn’t even try. Just accept the comment gracefully. You don’t have to make jokes. What you tell yourself become your realities.
7. FORGIVE YOURSELF
Learn how to forgive yourself. You’ve made mistakes in the past and frankly you will continue to make them. It’s not like you’re perfect and flawless; no one is. Self-criticism and guilt are detrimental.
When you make a mistake or do something that makes you feel kind of bad, let it go and choose to enjoy your life instead of letting it take over your brain. If someone does something to you forgive them, too. Do it for yourself because it’ll feel good to let go and move on with your life.
One last thing: loving yourself and putting yourself first in not a selfish act.