Hey, guys! Welcome back to my channel! My name’s Itxy, and today’s video is going to be about how to be happy.
Let’s just get straight into it.
1. THE PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE
We’ve all heard over and over again that you can’t go back to the past and change your mistakes. No matter how hard you try, you can’t say yes to the opportunity that you said no to, and you can’t take back words that you said.
In order to be happy, you need to find acceptance with the past. Since you know that you can’t change the decisions that you’ve already made and that you can’t go back and take opportunities that you originally said no to, you need to accept that it was made to be that way for a reason. You have to accept that saying no to those opportunities, or saying the things that you said, have led you to where you are at this very moment.
You have to accept that saying no to those opportunities, or saying the things that you said, have led you to where you are at this very moment.
Constantly taking out time out of your day to go back in the past and alter the things that you did, just in your mind, is doing nothing.
Once you accept that that’s that, then you’ll be much happier knowing and focusing on where you can go from now.
The future is admittedly terrifying, and it’s unknown territory that sometimes has you like, “Holy shit. What am I gonna do?” Right? What we have to do is we have to, instead of looking at the future as something extremely scary, we have to look at it as opportunities that we are going to be able to grasp after not having taken the other ones.
What we have to do is we have to, instead of looking at the future as something extremely scary, we have to look at it as opportunities that we are going to be able to grasp after not having taken the other ones.
You have to look at the future with excitement!
For example, let’s say that tomorrow you have a job interview. You’re completely nervous because you don’t know what the hell is going to happen, and you really need a job.
What you have to do in order to feel happy again and to feel relaxed is to instead focus on something else.
Shift your energy.
Let’s say that tomorrow you also have a meeting with a friend of yours that you haven’t seen in a couple of months. You’re excited about, so you can shift your energy from the nerves that you feel about the interview, and focus on the friend that you’re going to meet instead.
It’s not as tomorrow’s going to suck, it’s that your mindset is programmed to automatically be afraid instead of finding something to look forward to.
So, just one quick exercise. Instead of being nervous or scared about the future, find one thing that you’re super excited for that you can’t wait to give your all to.
HOW TO BE PRESENT
Let’s say that you’re in that job interview, right? Your mind is, again, automatically going to go to how you feel which is probably nerves.
Instead of focusing on what you’re feeling, focus on everything outside of you, everything physically outside of you.
Instead of focusing on the nerves, focus on the chair you’re sitting on. How does that feel? Or maybe look around and notice things.
One time I read this book, I don’t remember which one it was, but the author said to look around and choose a color (let’s say Red), and to find as many red things as you possibly can, and that way you’re focusing on that.
Also, it makes you realize that “Shit, maybe I wasn’t that present because I didn’t see that red before, I didn’t see that red before either!”
Focus on all the details outside of you, and don’t zone out!
Another way to be present is to be grateful. Instead of focusing on all the things you don’t have, shift your mindset and focus on the things that you do have.
Let me give you an example with me. Right now, I could be focusing on what tasks I didn’t finish before or what tasks I have to finish soon, but I know that I have a job to do, and that’s to help you learn how to be happier.
I know that my sole focus has to be on you and so what I’m focusing on is what I have.
I have this camera which I’m lucky my dad has so that I can make these high-quality videos for you. I’m lucky that I have this bench to sit on so I don’t get tired of standing. When I realize that I have all of these things, then I’m grateful, and I don’t have to focus damn it, this girl has a better camera.
That’s how you can stay present.
2. STOP REJECTING THE THINGS AROUND YOU
When you first wake up to a ringing alarm and your first thought, “God damn it, I have to get up now to turn off the alarm,” you’re automatically rejecting.
When you get up, and you have to shower, you’re rejecting because you’re saying, “I don’t want to get up from the bed.”
Instead of finding things that are already bringing you down, just find one thing that you’re looking forward to doing that day.
For example, if I’m laying in bed, and I realize I have a lot of work to do, I can just forget that and say, “Okay, Itxy, what is one thing that you’re looking forward to doing today?”
And once I focus on that instead, then I’m automatically happier because I know there’s one thing that I’m super excited to do.
Giving is great way to make you happy because it makes you feel like you matter. Like, you’re actually making a difference in this world. That’s all I have to say. Go. GIVE.
4. FEELING USEFUL
Sometimes we don’t feel happy because we feel useless.
Let’s say we give ourselves a break, but we end up watching Netflix the whole day, and by the end, you’re just like, “What have I done with my life?”
“I should have done this, I should have done that,” and you feel useless, so a thing you can do is remind yourself that you’re progressing. That one small step at a time, you’re advancing.
Remind yourself that things take time, and that you are improving in life.
In a journal or on your phone, write down three things that you learned that day.
Let’s say that you watched The Office, right?
Instead of feeling useless, find three things that you learned from all the episodes that day. All of a sudden, it doesn’t seem like a waste of time because you actually can take these lessons and use them in your life. (This isn’t me giving you permission to watch T.V. all day, by the way.)
That way you feel like your day wasn’t wasted, and that you actually did something good for yourself!
Stop telling yourself that you don’t matter or that you’re useless.
“The rest of the world is going to critique you and judge you. you need to stop doing that for yourself.” –Gary Vaynerchuk
5. “STUFF” WON’T MAKE YOU HAPPY
Materials and things are going to make you happy, but only for a little bit. It’s not going to be everlasting or genuine!
Let’s say that you get the iPhone 5, right? But then, the iPhone 6 comes out, and you want that one. Then, you want the iPhone 7 when it comes out, and it’s just this whole spiral that never ends!
Once you realize that what you have is great and that you should be grateful for it, then it makes life ten times easier because you’re perfectly satisfied with it.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting or with upgrading, but you can’t constantly want everything that’s new or else it’s just never going to end. It’s going to keep going, and going, and going.
6. CELEBRATE THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU MAKE
Let’s say that you’re learning a new instrument––guitar. You learn three chords, and you feel happy for a split second that you can play it, but then, you realize that you have a shitload of chords left to learn.
Instead of focusing on what you have to do more of in order to get to where you want to be, you have to take the time to really celebrate the fact that you learned those 3 chords.
Strive to become better, but if you’re always looking at, “Now, I need to do this,” you’ll never be satisfied with yourself.
So take the time to celebrate all of your accomplishments.
7. STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
A lot of the time we live in a caged box or behind the line and Even though it provides “safety”, it doesn’t bring you the satisfaction that you think it gives you.
You’re locking yourself in, and you’re getting in your own way, and you’re preventing yourself from being happy. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be necessarily stepping out of your comfort zone.
It’s just trying new things because trying new things makes you super fucking happy!
It can be something as small as going out to a new restaurant that you’ve never been to before, or taking a new route to work or to school, or something like that. Changing your routine makes you happier.
So, do the shit you love, and step out of your comfort zone because it’s going to be really scary, but in the end, you’re going to feel super proud of yourself, and that’s something to be celebrated!
Finally, I want you to remember something that took me a while to understand, and that is that your happiness should be a top priority, right next to self-love––even though making yourself happy is actually an act of self-love, so you’re kind of like, winning everything.
A lot of people don’t take the time to take care of themselves and to treat themselves right because they’re too busy focusing on work, and when they do do the things that make them happy they feel guilty.
You shouldn’t you that guilt at all because your happiness is so important, and it’s just a different kind of productivity, if you think about it.
Even watching YouTube videos for 15 minutes that make you laugh is good because laughing is great for you! You know?
So, don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first sometimes because if it makes you happy, it’s not a waste of time.