Hey guys! My name’s Itxy, and today we’re talking about how to say no the right way.
By the end of this video, you will be able to reject hanging out with someone, and not feel guilty about it.
If someone asks you to hang out, but you don’t want to, the first thing you do to say no the right way is to . . .
So, you say, “Thanks for inviting me to go out.” This way you’re starting on a high, and you’re showing them that you’re grateful for the invitation.
Once you thank them, that’s when you say—“But I won’t be able to go.” When you say this, you don’t have to defend yourself or explain unless you want, but you’re not obligated to.
Sometimes when someone asks us to go out with them and we say no, we’ll feel guilty, and we’ll start spewing out random excuses that aren’t even true.
So, just know that it’s okay to not give an explanation!
Once you’ve thanked them and said no, then soften the blow by . . .
OFFERING AN ALTERNATIVE
What else can you offer that you can do with them on another day?
This can be something like, “I won’t be able to go, but maybe we can go get lunch tomorrow,” or “We can go for coffee next week.”
This way you’re letting them know it’s not them that you don’t want to hang out with, it’s just that you don’t feel like going out.
Finally, you want to. . .
STICK TO YOUR NO
Unless you genuinely change your mind and decide to go to the party or to hang out with your friend, then stick to your no.
If you don’t want to go, it’s obviously for a reason, so don’t let anyone’s whining or bitching get you to change your mind, especially because if you do change your mind, you’re probably not going to end up having a good time.
Also, if you don’t stick to your no, then people will take it as a sign that they can walk over you, and that whatever you say doesn’t actually have meaning.
You’re training people that this is okay, when you “change your mind” when you really don’t want to change your mind.
Just make sure that you’re sticking to your no.
WHEN YOU PUT THIS ALL TOGETHER . . .
It should sound like this:
“Thank you for inviting me, but I won’t be able to go. How about we get together for lunch next week?” (Or it can be something of that variation.)
WHAT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE THE PERSON/OFFER AN ALTERNATIVE?
Well, you can still soften the blow.
If it’s a toxic person or someone that you just don’t really like, once again you say, “Thanks for inviting, but I won’t be able to go,” but instead of offering an alternative, you end on a high by saying “But, I hope you have fun,” or “I hope you have a good weekend, though.”
This way you’re still being kind and not just rejecting them completely.
1. You thank them
2. You say no
3. You offer an alternative or you end on a high,
4. You stick to your no.
That said, I hope these tips helpe you out. Thanks for watching (read: reading) I’ll see you next week, bye!