Hey guys, welcome back to my channel. My name’s Itxy, and today we’re going to talk about how to overcome the fear of failure!
By the end of this video, you will be able to say fuck it, and go do whatever you love. If you’re watching this video it’s because there’s something that you really want to do, but you’re afraid to start because you’re afraid of failing.
Before I get into how to overcome the fear of failure, I want to clarify two things.
1. This is about overcoming failure, not getting rid of it! Fear will always be there, and there’s nothing you can do to magically get rid of it.
2. Fear of failure is normal. It’s human, and it’s okay to be scared of failure. I don’t want you to feel ashamed or embarrassed or make yourself feel bad about it!
WHAT’S THE FEAR OF FAILURE?
When you fear failure, you’re not exactly afraid of failing. You’re not scared of falling, so to speak. What you’re afraid of is what’ll happen once you’re on the ground.
You fear how you will feel. You fear that you’ll feel disappointed in yourself or ashamed. Or you’re afraid of how others will react—Will they laugh at me? What will they say? What if I fail and say they, “I told you so”?
That’s what the fear of failure is. You’re not afraid of actually falling, but of what’ll happen once you’re on the ground.
FAILURE = LESSONS
I have a question for you that I really want you to think about.
Why do you care about what people will say if you fail?
Why do care about what your parents will say? Or society? Or what strangers will say about you—people who you don’t even care about because you don’t know them?
Why are you so afraid of feeling ashamed?
I’m not putting down your feelings or saying that they’re invalid, but it’s just a feeling. Why let it define everything you are?
When you “fail,” when you’re on the ground, instead of worrying, how about you choose to feel excited instead?
Force yourself to be excited. Force yourself to look up and find something good about the fall.
Think: What do you know now and what can you take from it so you don’t make the same mistake twice? What were you lucky enough to find out?
Overcoming the fear of failure is a simple mentality shift.
Change your way of thinking to, “When I fail, (which is really just you making a mistake), I will have gained a valuable lesson that will help me get far. This isn’t a step back, but a step closer to success.”
There’s a bright side to everything, you just have to look for it.
NO ONE SUCCEEDS WITHOUT FAILING
The biggest entertainers in the world have all failed. They’ve heard the word no hundreds of time, all it does is bring them one step closer to a yes.
Let’s talk about that some more, that final yes that you get.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. Not only does failing bring you one step closer to success, but hearing a no also takes you to what you really want.
Gal Gadot almost gave up acting because she’d failed too many times and then, she got Wonder Woman, one of the biggest movies of the year!
If she’d gotten a yes earlier, maybe that movie would’ve been a flop. Even though she heard no over and over again she continued, she got something great! Every time she got a no, the Universe was like, “Wait! I’ve got something really cool for you, just keep going!”
No one’s made it without failing, but you know why you don’t hear about it too often? Because. . .
IN THE LONG RUN, FAILURE IS SMALL
When you’re on the ground, having failed, it feels like the world is looking down and looking at you with judging eyes right? And maybe they are, but in the grand scheme of things, does it matter?
Probably not becomes so small.
And that’s why you don’t hear much about how other’s have failed, because they don’t really matter sometimes.
And that’s another mind-shift.
Paying attention to the NOW is important, but it’s also smart to look at the big picture and the future and realize that it may seem bad now, but in the long run, how will it look?
FAILURE MAKES LIFE EXCITING
Taking risks knowing full well that there’s 50/50 chance of you messing up is what makes life better.
If you’re bored with life, it’s probably because you’re not taking enough risks.
If you want to become better at overcoming the fear of failure, then you’re going to have to learn how to take more risks.
Now, these risks don’t have to be huge like quitting your job to start your own business. (Although that would be good, too!)
These risks can be small—like doing a live stream even though there’s a possibility that no one will watch—and with every small risk that you take, slowly but surely, you overcoming the fear of failure gets easier for 2 reasons.
1. You took a risk and something really great happened that made you feel more confident.
2. Maybe you don’t do so great, but you realize wow, I was making such a big deal out of this for no reason.
Eventually, you start getting used to it.
Be more afraid of settling and living a normal life than you are of failing.
So, take small risks so you can start getting accustomed to…
STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
And why do you want to do that?
Because you want control over your fear, you want to be in charge! Not the other way around.
As I said in the beginning, you won’t get rid of your fear, you can’t just squash it like a bug; you can only flick it off your shoulder, terrified that it’ll crawl closer to you, until eventually, you’re flicking it off without any hesitance.
“I can be fearful, and I can do it anyway.” —Tony Robbins
Being in charge of your fear and not the other way around is a choice.
It’s either will I do it or not? Will I cross the line or stay behind it?
But, once you make the choice of stepping out, stick with it.
Let me tell you now that you’re not always to like stepping out of your comfort zone. You’ll feel uncomfortable and awkward and shy, and that’s completely normal, but in cases like these, you don’t have a choice but to suck it up.
In cases like these, even though you won’t always feel comfortable, you don’t have to feel good to do it, you just have to do it.
“Your passion should be bigger than you fear.” — Jennifer Hudson
So feel scared and uncomfortable, but keep going because if you really love it as much as you say you do, then you have no choice but to go for it.
The fastest way to get rid of fear is to just DO IT.
You can’t wait to be ready, to have everything you need, for the time to be perfect. The timing will never be perfect, maybe you’ll have more money, but you’ll say, wait, I need more money
You’ll never be 100% ready, so might as well go now.
WILL YOU QUIT OR TRY AGAIN
You made a mistake, so what? Who gives a crap what others will say? At least you’re trying and have the guts to do what you love when the majority is afraid and can’t even think about it.
You’re not an idiot for failing. You’re brave for starting in the first place.
You’re brave for asking for a raise or telling someone that you have feelings for them.
You’re brave for starting your own business,and quitting your job.
You’re brave for failing. And inspiring!
They are scared people who need to let it out on someone. That’s it, they’re not against you, just jealous.
Failing is only human.
“A fall isn’t final unless you stay on the ground.” —Marie Forleo
Marie Forleo also says that once you try again you’re not the person who failed, but the person who got up again.
You’re the person who’s willing to kick ass again even though you totally embarrassed yourself.
Be that person. Be the inspiration! Challenge yourself.
GO IN PREPARED TO FAIL
Before you jump, know that the net might not be there to catch you.
But also know that 90% of the time, the fear of failure is internal—it’s just in your mind.
You’re not starting at the top. You’re starting at the bottom!
You can’t expect to win at every first try you get.
I just want you to be prepared for anything because once you get started, you have no idea what’s going to happen.
Sometimes, whatever you do will take time—3 weeks or 3 years—but if you love it, you’re just gonna have to keep going, and be patient.
THE FEAR OF FAILURE IS INTERNAL
As humans, we overcomplicate things. A lot. We overthink, and most of the time, the fear is just in our minds trying to play tricks on us.
We’re creating worst-case scenarios, instead of holding on to just one positive “What if?”
Actualizad.org says that thousands of years ago fear was awesome because it kept people safe from being eaten alive, but that it’s time that we go from “safety-minded” to “growth-minded.”
It’s not that fear isn’t real, it’s that most of the time it’s these subconscious worries we have that probably wont’ even come true.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Will Smith says that before you take the first step, you have to believe in yourself and in your actions and your thoughts before anyone else does.
I think that’s really important because if you don’t believe in yourself, how do you expect the world to believe in you?
How do you expect to overcome the fear of failure if you’re not actually trusting yourself?
Once you trust in yourself, trust in whatever’s out there. Fate, the Universe, or God. (I believe in the Universe so I’m going to use the Universe.)
Once you make the decision, and you put it out there, that’s when the Universe starts helping you and steps out of your way.
Even though you’re going to fail, eventually you’re going to get what you want. In the end, everything’s going to be the way you wanted it to be because you persevered.
One thing I want to say is to not let the fear of failure stop you from dreaming so big and stop you from going after what your big dream really is.
Reality is bullshit. Be crazy and delusional with your dreams, and believe in them even if no one else does.
The only one stopping you is you. No one else. Not time or money or people, just you.
Get out of your own freaking way, and do what you love.
When you mess up, when you fail, when you’re on the floor embarrassed, it’s only your fault. Take responsibility!
“You didn’t fail because you didn’t have the resources, you failed because you weren’t resourceful.” —Tony Robbins
You have what you need, maybe it’s not what you want, but you have what you need.
And with what you have, you go after what you want.
And if you really don’t have what you need, then go out and find it. Put out a story on Instagram saying, “Hey if anyone has this, I would love to borrow it and I’d appreciate it if you lent it to me for a week.”
All you have to do is ask the right person!
The perfect example of using what you have even though it’s not what you need is Director Jonny Santana, a friend of mine.
At 16-17 years old, he made he made a movie. He asked his friends to act in the movie, got his camera, which wasn’t even that great, and did it anyway.
Now, that movie—Fruit Juice—is on Amazon prime, and he’s already got a second movie out, which he promoted on the local news and had 2 packed screenings!
All because he didn’t let the fear of failure stop him. Now he’s making, even more movies and loving his life.
When you fail, take a look at what you did and when you find the mistake, sharpen your skills or develop new ones if you need to.
Ask yourself how you can grow, even if it means having to learn something you don’t like.
I love talking about these things, I love learning about ways to grow, so I can try them out, and then, tell you about the ones that work.
But, I don’t always love the behind the scenes. The coming up with a good title or learning more about youtube, but that’s a sacrifice I have to make and, I do it because I remember that I love doing this!
You’ll have to make sacrifices if you want to make it to where you want to be.
MAKE THE CHOICE
Remember, it’s all about making a choice: Will I do it or not? That’s the best way to get rid of the fear of failure.
If you fail, so what? Move on.
“It’s like swimming. You either jump in the pool and go or you don’t.
The end.” —Gary Vaynerhchuck
So go. Try it. Listen and trust yourself and the Universe.
I’m going to leave you with these questions:
Are you really going to let a fear, that’s mostly in your head, stop you? Are you going to grow old and become an old person filled with regret?
Or are you going to believe in your insanity and chase your dreams in spite of the fear of failure? Will you inspire others?
I hope you make the right choice. I trust that you will.