If you’re reading this, it’s because you want to become a leader. You like people who are kind but do what they want; people who are in control of their lives. You want to be the type of person who isn’t afraid of being who they’re meant to be. The type of person who isn’t frightened of standing up for what they believe in.

The problem is you’re too shy. You care about what people think about you and you’re not sure that you can take charge of your life. Which is why you definitely can’t be a leader, right? Wrong. You can! You absolutely fucking can. Some people are naturally born leaders and others are not, but it’s possible to become one.

Before I give you some tips on becoming a better leader, let me tell you…

Being a leader doesn’t mean that you…

  • force people to things for you
  • yell at people and get angry with them when they can’t do something
  • get to make someone’s decisions about their life
  • own people
  • manipulate

Also, age doesn’t matter when it comes to being a leader. You can be 6 years old and a line leader, 14 and your class president, or a young adult, like Commander Lexa, in charge of a whole tribe.

A good leader…

  • inspires people to take charge and make changes in their life
  • helps people in tough situations by taking control (not forcefully) and remaining calm
  • makes the best choice even if it means they get hurt
  • isn’t afraid to stand up for what they believe in even when others are trying to take them down

If you can stand in front 10 or 10,000 people and inspire them to go after what they want and remain humble, you’re a damn good leader.

How to overcome shyness:


Practice confidence. You can’t just say some magic word and make confidence appear out of nowhere. You need to push away your self-doubts and insecurities and let your confidence shine. Confidence is already within you, you just have to push it to come out.


Confidence leader

Image Source: Eric Thomas

So, practice. Walk around with your head up and back straight. Look a stranger in the eye and smile when you pass by them. Compliment people’s outfits. Answer the phone….ahh too far, ha? Even don’t even do that. The point is stop hiding in a shell and stop hesitating to show the world your beautiful face.


HERE’S A SECRET: You’re not actually faking the confidence. When you go up to a person to tell them you like them, you’re not faking confidence to tell them. It’s real confidence shining through. There is no such this as false confidence. That’s just you being really awesome.


I don’t mean go out and tell strangers your dreams and aspirations because you might scare them off, but tell your friends. Friends that you can trust. Your friends will never judge you for telling them what your goals in life are. They won’t judge you for crying or laughing too loud.

Show them that you’re proud that you are the way you are. Let them know that your thoughts and feelings are valid.


This tip is about you remembering that you were born because you have a greater purpose. There is a reason you’re the way you are and there’s no need to change that (except to improve because you want to improve).

You’re beyond this planet. You’re filled with incredible ideas and thoughts. You matter and that’s why you should overcome your shyness. You’re actually being pretty mean by hiding who you are from the world. We need you.

So, now that we’ve covered what it means to be a leader and overcoming shyness. Let’s get to…

How to become a kick-ass leader:

You can be a leader whenever, however, and to whomever you want. Whether that be a person that your friends can depend on when they’re feeling discouraged or as the CEO of a company.

You need to have certain aspects in order to be a great leader, so let’s get started on that.

Cat Grant - Leader from Supergirl

Image Source: Screen Rant


When you say something to people, you need to keep your word. If you tell someone that you’ll be their rock for the next week while they’re taking tests, then you better be prepared to be there for them when they need you. You can’t back out and you need to be consistent. You can’t be kind to one person and be an asshole to another. Whoever you make a promise to, you have to keep.

Be the person that people can come to with problems because they can count on you to either give them some advice or just be a listening ear.


People look up to you when you’re a leader. They expect you to have solutions and offer new ideas. Even if you’re in a shitty situation, you have to put on a brave face and be the calm one.

Try to keep your voice calm and steady. Walk around with your head tall and back straight, like I said earlier. You’re a leader because people know that you’ll always have their backs.


You’re a leader. You’re not a god with all the answers of the Universe. Don’t pretend to know everything because that just makes you look cocky and you’ll look pretty idiotic if you’re just spewing out words, too. You don’t have to know everything and you’ll be respected more if you admit it.


No one likes a pessimist and if you want people to look up to you, you’re going to have to try to look at the positive in bad situations. There will be times when negative thoughts will win and that’s okay; leaders aren’t perfect. Become aware of when the people around you are looking afraid and help them see the bright side.


Having the qualities I just listed automatically makes you a leader; someone that your friends, customers, and maybe even strangers can depend on. However, you are not always right. Listen to what other people have to say.

You may be a leader, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. Be the type of leader who takes what others have to say into consideration. Let me break the T.V. show myth that leaders are people who wear all black, don’t give a shit about others, and have their walls built up.

Leaders are kind, work with others, and are caring.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” – John Quincy Adams


Furthermore, just inspire others, dude. Be the reason that others want to become a better person. Inspire people to be humble and follow whatever it is that makes them happy.

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