Hey, guys. I’m Itxy and welcome back to my channel! Today’s video is going to be about saying goodbye to rejection and how to react to it in a positive manner! By the end of this video, you should be able to say “Screw rejection, I have the power.” So, on that note, let’s get started!
Have you ever been dumped? Ever asked someone out and they say no? Ever applied for a job only to hear back “thanks, but no thanks?” Or maybe you’ve cooked a meal for your family and even though they say it’s good, you can tell by their faces that it’s actually not that tasty?
We’ve all been there, right? We’ve all gotten rejected by someone in our lives.
And there are so many feelings that come along with rejection like:
Obviously, these feelings suck, but here’s the thing: there’s a way to get rid of them! (And no I don’t mean by getting drunk.)
So, do you want to know how to do it?
Here’s the answer: TAKE BACK YOUR POWER.
Let me explain with an example.
Do you know why it hurts so much when someone breaks up with you? I’m sure there’s a lot of reasons, but one of the main reasons is that this person that you were dating probably gave you something that you needed. When they break up with you and you’re trying to let go, it’s really like you’re letting go of this nurturing that they had for you, you know?
So, for example, let’s say that this person gave you a lot of love and compliments that made you feel good. Once the relationship is over, that’s gone. But the thing is, you can provide that yourself! You don’t have to depend on another person to shower you with love. You can, yourself, look in the mirror, compliment yourself, you can cook yourself breakfast, you can appreciate all that you are!
Realize what this person gave you and then give it to yourself. You don’t have to view it as rejection.
So, I guess the big question is:
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH REJECTION?
Here’s the thing: feelings come from thoughts. And thoughts are your own, right? Unless you’re thinking somebody else’s thoughts, but I don’t think that’s the case here.
But, if feelings are your thoughts, that means that you create your own feelings.
And yes, I know that this could be hard to accept because it is pretty different to know that you choose your own feelings and to know that you choose to react a certain way.
Think about it this way. Let’s say that you and your friend were walking down the street and talking loudly, and some douchebag tells you to shut up.
There’s a lot of different ways to react, right? But let’s say that you react angrily and your friend just starts laughing because she thinks it’s funny.
That proves that you chose your own feeling because this guy just said something and you both had different reactions.
He didn’t cause you to react one way and your friend to react another way. You just chose your own reactions.
Does that make sense? Your thoughts, your feelings.
So, if you think about it, rejection, does it really exist? You only perceive situations as rejection.
Let me give you another example!
Let’s say that you have an interview for Company X. And you go for the interview, and then a week passed, and you get a phone call, but they say, “Sorry, you didn’t get the job.”
What’s the first thing you feel? Rejection right? (Or do you?….)
Here’s the thing, you didn’t get the job cause well– it’s not because you suck or because you’re not skilled enough. It’s just that you’re not what the company is looking for. You just don’t have what the company has in mind as an employee.
It’s not because you’re unskilled or anything, it’s just that you weren’t the right fit. You weren’t the right match! That’s how it always is if you apply for a job and don’t get it, that’s it! You move on. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
When you’re first rejected, or “rejected,” by someone, it’s okay to feel the pain that comes along with a no. Feel the feelings! There’s nothing wrong with it, but just feel them for a moment, and then let them go.
Well, all of this leads us to the main question: how do we deal with rejection? How do we change our perspective of it?
Well, it’s easy. You REFRAME it.
So now, you’re probably thinking how the hell do you reframe your idea of rejection?
Well, think if it this way. I got this example from the book Think Your Way to the Life You Want by Bruce Doyle and he says…
Imagine that you’re standing in front of a table, and on this table lies 4 different objects. You’ve got an item made out of wood, another made out of plastic, the 3rd made out of glass, and finally, the 4th one is made out of iron.
Now, imagine yourself standing by the table holding a magnet. What happens when you move the magnet to the piece of wood. Nothing. What happens when you move the magnet to the plastic? Nothing again. And finally to the glass, nothing!
But then you move it to the piece of iron, and what happens? SMACK!
They’re connected. Do you think that the magnet rejected the wood, the plastic, and the glass? No!
Their characteristics just weren’t the same. They didn’t connect… literally! They just weren’t a right match. It’s not because items were rejected, it’s just that they wouldn’t go together no matter what.
So, next time you’re rejected by a boss, just say “We weren’t a right fit.”
Next time you’re dumped by someone or you ask someone out and they say no just say “we weren’t a right fit, there’s someone out there better for me.”
There’s no need to feel the sting of rejection, you just didn’t connect and that’s it. It’s simple. You gotta move on from it and accept it.
Like, another way to think about it is: we all like different things. We all have different preferences, right? When someone asks you out and you say no, do you judge yourself for it?
Probably not. I mean you might feel a little bad, but you’re not spending the whole day thinking about it.
That’s how it is for the other person when you ask them out and they say no. If yore not going to judge yourself, why are you going to judge them?
So, if that ever happens just say, “This isn’t about me.” Because frankly, it’s not all about you, it’s just that we all like different shit!
Finally, remember that rejection isn’t really real, it’s just the way that you perceive a situation. And whenever you are “rejected” move on and say “This wasn’t the right fit for me.”
That’s the end of this video! Thanks so much for tuning in and watching, I hope you got some insight into the so-called rejection. Give it a thumbs up if you liked it or comment below and let me know what your thoughts on are rejection. Finally, if you know someone who could benefit from this video, share it!
Thanks again. Bye guys!