I am fucked up. My subconscious is…all over the place.
Got your attention? I have a lot of confidence and love for myself, but holy shit am I a mess.
Sure, I may not give a crap, but I have my days where I hate my body and I think I look ugly in every single outfit I try on. Sometimes I let bad days get the best of me and I become such a pessimist. Or, I get angry and just snap at everyone. I’ll feel hopeless at times and just want to watch movies all day to escape my life. One very important lesson I have learned though is:
It is my fault if I stay fucked up.
Others can help you. But, nothing will work if you don’t work with them. However, no one can help you more than you can help yourself. No one can save or heal you. You’re not broken; there’s no such thing as being broken. You just lost your way a bit or you’re hurt and that’s fine. Whether or not you want to feel better is all up to you, but know that you can do it.
Here’s a ridiculous and sad truth: You are probably living a life based on other people’s beliefs.
Your parents, friends, and society make up a good amount of your beliefs. Such as what?
- you can’t succeed without going to college
- being gay is wrong
- being an adult sucks
- the elderly are too old to be useful
- Santa is real
SCIENCE!! (In all honestly, I don’t like science, but I promise this is interesting and I’ll keep it simple)
We have a conscious mind and subconscious mind. Basically, your subconscious mind is all about feelings and instincts and it believes everything you hear because it doesn’t know any better. It’s like telling a 5-year-old that cops are coming for him when you see them outside and him believing you cause he doesn’t completely understand what cops are. Anyway, what you have to know is that the subconscious mind is in control, not your conscious mind.
Your subconscious smart isn’t too smart, so you have to teach it how to not be a dumbass, basically.
the BIG questions are: “How do I identify subconscious beliefs holding me back?” and “How do I get rid of them?”
1. THINK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH BUT AREN’T GETTING OR DOING
Let’s say that what you want is to quit school where you’re studying something that’s semi-interesting to you to go after your dream of becoming an entrepreneur/chef and opening up your own restaurant.
2. YOU REALLY WANT TO BUT CAN’T SEEM TO DO IT, WHY?
You can’t do it because you have limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are what prevent someone from doing what they want despite how badly they want it. Some people don’t even realize they have these. What you have to do is sit down and write down why you’re not doing what you’d love to do. Why are you so afraid of going after what you want? Those are the limiting beliefs.
In this case, you may write down things such as, you were always taught that going after what you truly want was insane. You may subconsciously believe that quitting school and starting a business is impossible because most people fail. And what will people think? People will judge and no one will support you. Who will support someone who drops out of college, the only thing that leads to success?
3. CANCEL YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS
After you’ve written down the limiting beliefs, write the belief that cancels that lie out.
EX. I can’t have a steady career choice without college -> I will make it on my own because I’ll remain determined and work hard
Don’t just write them down, though. After you’ve done that, get into the habit of reading your new beliefs in the morning or before you go to bed and even throughout the day. You will start to fully believe what you’d like to. Maybe it sounds crazy, but this is the type of things that self-improvement coaches and millionaires do; they didn’t succeed (not money wise) just because they “got lucky” enough to only believe in the good stuff about life.
I believe that money is too difficult. That it causes bad things to happen and that it’s complicating just thinking about it. So, what I do is write down all these beliefs I have about money and then write the complete opposite.
Slowly, but surely, these beliefs are melting away and the truth is coming back to me. The truth is replacing all these beliefs I have that make me go crazy when thinking about money, and I’m working towards happiness.
“You need to go from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life” – Jen Sincero
4. YOU KNOW WHAT’S PREVENTING YOU FROM DOING, NOW DO
It’s not easy to let go of what you’ve always believed, but the only way to get rid of these negative beliefs is to do the complete opposite of what you believe.
Do you think you don’t deserve love? Start telling yourself every morning that you’re wonderful and that you love yourself and that someday someone will love you (almost) as much as you love yourself. If think you can’t succeed without college, but don’t want to go because it’s not for you and you want to chase something else, just do it.
Finally, “just do it” is easier said done, right? Well, find out how you can do just that in my blog post, “F*ck it” They Say as They Continue Forward.