You live and then you die, right?
HA. I wish it was that easy.
Our lives are like the 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There are copious amounts of times when they’re battling what they think is the end of the world. We go through what feels like a million and one apocalypses. Life seems like it’s uncooperative sometimes and we have no choice but to deal with it. We do, however, have a choice with how we deal with it.
- Be an optimist or a pessimist
- Go with flow because you understand you can’t change it or react angrily/let it get you down
- Fight or lay in bed watching The Office
Want to become the person who makes the 1st choices? Keep reading! Do you want to be the person who moans, groans, and complains? Then, this isn’t for you. If you’re reading this sentence, it’s because you chose to rise above…So…CONGRATS!
You just took your first step towards being the person who comes out of the apocalypse alive. I’m serious. You’ve just decided that you’re going to be an optimist and not allow the hard shit to bring you down. Celebrate all your steps no matter how small; everything you do counts.
I guess the question now is:
How do we get out of apocalypses (the hard times) alive?
I’m going to give you some tips for being able to get through those hard times in life that seem like they’re impossible to get through. However, I’m not just going to help you get through it. I’m going to help you get through it okay.
TIP #1 STOP ACTING TOUGH…BUT NOT FOR TOO LONG
“She litERALLy just said that I shouldn’t let it bring me down,” you may be thinking. Let me explain. There are times when bad situations get the best of us and we still don’t allow ourselves to feel those emotions and cry and that’s not healthy, my dear. You’re a human. You’re supposed to let yourself feel and cry.
“Avoiding your negative emotion may feel like an effective stopgap measure, but in fact it simply postpones, and perhaps escalates and exacerbates, a flood of negative emotion sometime in the future.” said John Duffy, Ph.D
Stop acting like you can handle everything and sob like those kids on Jimmy Kimmel whose candy got taken away. Take a moment to accept what’s going on and succumb to the feelings and talk to someone if you want, but…BUT, once you’ve done that, that’s it. You got it all out in a day or two, now you gotta move on. So, back to my point: you can’t let it take complete control.
You have to then let love and power take over so that you can be in control again and be prepared for the journey ahead of you.
TIP #2 LIFE GETS GOOD AGAIN AFTER IT’S GONE THROUGH THE HARD STUFF
This is something you should always keep in mind. It’s cliché, but they’re called clichés for a reason, right? Everyone says it because it’s true. Your life doesn’t stay shitty. Eventually, the all the hard stuff fades away or you face the problem and go back to feeling free again.
The difficult parts in life are exactly that; just parts.
Imagine and revel in the feeling of that hard part in your life being over so that you don’t lose sight of the fact that it’ll all end eventually because that’s the exciting part! You’re gonna feel beyond good when it’s done. Also, remember that sometimes hard events lead to even better things.
TIP #3 THE OBVIOUS ONE, BE POSITIVE
There’s always a silver lining.
I’m not going to lie to you. This one is pretty hard. In the beginning, it may seem that your negative thoughts are unmanageable, but I promise you they are.
One thing I know for sure is that there’s no fast way to do this; it’s going to take practice and a shitload of patience. So let me give you a few ways to practice being a more optimistic person.
- Think about and write down 10 miserable situations you were in or things that happened to you that you thought were detrimental. Turn them into a positive. What did you learn? Who’d you become? How’d it make you stronger?
- Instead of focusing on the problem you’re in, shift your focus onto a solution. What can you do to make it better? Don’t waste your energy on the things that don’t matter.
- Surround yourself with positive people. Pessimists literally suck all the light and good energy out of a room and if you want to be more positive that’s not what you need.
It’s possible to find that one thing that’s good in a hard situation, dude. You can always choose to feel good instead of feeling bad.
Just think, would you rather fill your stomach with fresh fruit or rotting fruit? It’s the same with your mind: thoughts that make you feel like you’ll be able to fly someday or thoughts that’ll keep you sulking in bed all day.
TIP #4 GIVE YOURSELF SOMETHING ELSE TO FOCUS ON
Here, focus on this!!
No, but really. One lesson I’ve learned is that it’s okay to lose yourself in something SOMETIMES instead of facing a situation head on because it seems like it’s becoming more and more impossible. However, you can’t do this 24/7.
Escaping your life may feel good when you’re watching Lost Girl on Netflix but that feeling doesn’t last.
It’s okay to want to escape for a while, but you shouldn’t depend on it. Get back up and face your life.
Fighting can be hard and sometimes you have to take your mind off things, but turn your eyes to something that’ll actually make you feel better. The best thing to do is write down some goals, no matter how crazy, and focus on those. Imagine yourself working hard and reaching them and do it in real life.
Escaping your life in forms of entertainment lead to nothing.
(Definitely not saying to not watch shows or read, I watch a movie like 4 times a week because I LOVE them).
You could pretend that you’re an outsider and give yourself advice as well. There are times when all you need is a new perspective to get clear.
TIP # 5 IF YOU CAN’T FIX WHAT’S GOING ON ON THE OUTSIDE, THEN FIX WHAT’S GOING ON INSIDE
I’m writing this tip because I saw Gabby Bernstein tweet a picture with something like this on it and I loved it.
There are times when certain events are outside of our control and we can’t do shit. Accept that now! It’ll bring you relief and it’ll lift some weight off your shoulders knowing that you don’t have to solve every freaking problem in the world.
Anyway, the best thing to do when something like that is happening is to change the way that you deal with it. You can change your perspective and your mindset. You can choose to take control over your feelings in order to not let the situation take control of you.
Work on becoming more positive, decide to love instead of hate, or become grateful instead falling on your knees, sobbing, and screaming to the sky, “WHY ME?!”
I promise it works.
TIP #6 LOVE & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Throughout these “apocalypses” take of yourself, okay? Make sure you’re giving yourself some lovin‘. Remind yourself constantly that you’re strong. That you have defeated everything hard so far and you will continue to do so.