July 26, 2019
I feel trapped.
I’m in my room, and I want to go downstairs to the living room where the door is open, and it’s cooler than my hot room, but we have visitors.
I feel trapped in my room, which isn’t too big, and I share it with my two sisters. The air is thick and sticky, and my bed feels hot.
I don’t always feel like this. But sometimes I feel like I’m about to lose my mind. My heart beats a little faster, harder.
It’s not because I’m stressed or overwhelmed, but because I feel like I can’t breathe.
But I know by now that when I feel this way, I can’t work. I can’t write or focus on anything, no matter how badly I want to.
So, I know I have to take a break and take care of myself first before I can get back to it.
the first step of self-care
This is the first step of self-care. It’s paying attention to when you need to take a step back and calm down.
Some people would call this selfish. Even after everything we’ve learned about the importance of self-love and care, they’ll still call you egotistical for putting yourself first.
But whoever says self-care is selfish can go fuck themselves.
Before, when I used to feel this way, I’d continue working anyway. Do you know what would happen?
By the end of the day, I’d get nothing done. How was I supposed to if I couldn’t concentrate?
This, in turn, made me feel ten times worse by the time I went to bed because I didn’t get any work done.
I was unproductive, and I’d feel guilty, and like I wasn’t going to succeed if I kept this shit up.
But then I started to take care of myself before doing anything else, and it changed everything.
Instead of letting stress, negativity, or overwhelm spiral as I continued working, I put work on pause, and I focused on what I needed. I need to calm the fuck down and focus on me.
When I have these moments, there are a few things I do
the effects of self-care
When I take time to take care of myself, to calm down and take a breath, then afterward, I can actually get back to work.
Why? Because I feel refreshed, reenergized, and I can focus again.
It’s worth the time, and I avoid the guilt I used to feel afterward. I’m going to repeat that one more time.
Self-care is worth the time.
So, when you need to take the time to have a good self-care session. Do it.