whoever says self-care is selfish can go fuck themselves

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July 26, 2019

I feel trapped.

I’m in my room, and I want to go downstairs to the living room where the door is open, and it’s cooler than my hot room, but we have visitors.

I feel trapped in my room, which isn’t too big, and I share it with my two sisters. The air is thick and sticky, and my bed feels hot.

I don’t always feel like this. But sometimes I feel like I’m about to lose my mind. My heart beats a little faster, harder.

It’s not because I’m stressed or overwhelmed, but because I feel like I can’t breathe.

It sucks.

But I know by now that when I feel this way, I can’t work. I can’t write or focus on anything, no matter how badly I want to.

So, I know I have to take a break and take care of myself first before I can get back to it.

the first step of self-care

Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

This is the first step of self-care. It’s paying attention to when you need to take a step back and calm down.

Some people would call this selfish. Even after everything we’ve learned about the importance of self-love and care, they’ll still call you egotistical for putting yourself first.

But whoever says self-care is selfish can go fuck themselves.

Before, when I used to feel this way, I’d continue working anyway. Do you know what would happen? 

By the end of the day, I’d get nothing done. How was I supposed to if I couldn’t concentrate?

This, in turn, made me feel ten times worse by the time I went to bed because I didn’t get any work done. 

I was unproductive, and I’d feel guilty, and like I wasn’t going to succeed if I kept this shit up.

But then I started to take care of myself before doing anything else, and it changed everything.

Instead of letting stress, negativity, or overwhelm spiral as I continued working, I put work on pause, and I focused on what I needed. I need to calm the fuck down and focus on me.

When I have these moments, there are a few things I do

  • I love naps, and they always help me refocus after them. I feel re-energized, and I take them every day because I think naps are essential.
  • I also enjoy laying in bed and listening to calm music. This is the playlist I made that I listen to when I need to relax.
  • When my thoughts are too loud, or if I'm feeling particularly angry, I journal. I free-write, which means I write down anything that comes to mind and anything I'm feeling without filtering anything. I do it until my chest feels light again. It always works.
  • Finally, I like to color on my iPad. I hate coloring in real life because I don't have the patience to stay inside the lines, and I hate getting out of them, but I love coloring on my iPad. It keeps my mind off things.

the effects of self-care

When I take time to take care of myself, to calm down and take a breath, then afterward, I can actually get back to work. 

Why? Because I feel refreshed, reenergized, and I can focus again.

It’s worth the time, and I avoid the guilt I used to feel afterward. I’m going to repeat that one more time.

Self-care is worth the time.

So, when you need to take the time to have a good self-care session. Do it.

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